Google Chrome

Google Chrome seems to be pretty cool.

Things I Don't Like:

• It uses a new process for each tab (which is why it is so fast I am guessing)
• That it isn't integrated with Google Bookmarks 

Things I Like:

• The Speed
  
• The Error Message Below

The most evil bug EVER!

So, this story starts with me being a complete idiot.  (yes again)   I had just replaced the light bulb in a light fixture that has one of those glass globes that attaches to the fixture by 4 little screws that you tighten under the lip of the globe.  Anyway, I must not have tightened them enough, and so, after a few days, the globe fell off the fixture, and down a few stairs, unexpedily not breaking.  So, what do I do when I see this happen, I pick up the globe, or attempt to, and burn the shiznit out of my hand.  (don’t mess, I used to be an OG in a previous life, so I can say shiznit)

Anyway, a pretty bad 3^rd degree burn on the palm of my hand (yeah not sure how it burnt me on the palm of my hand) I had a nice large blister, and about a week later, it was a pretty nasty sore that throbbed regularly.  Now, I am not a pansy, or I would hope not, but what this effin type of bug did to me is just mean as hell.

A few days ago, we noticed we had quite a few fruit flies in our house.  The root cause was a piece of fruit that was at the bottom of the fruit bowl that wasn’t in the greatest condition, and provided a great meal for these little buggers. (yeah buggers, not bugs, I also have a British friend, so I can say that (yes, I am being facetious))

So, what does a normal person do when they see a little fly flying around in front of his face, he claps his two hands together trying to smoosh the life out of the little bastard.  This bastard, or the 4 of them, or maybe the same one just knowing he has the upper hand, errr talon or paw or whatever they have, has created the perfect condition for me to cause myself some great pain. 

Just so you know, don’t smack a place where you have a gaping wound and expect to like it.

Damn freaks of nature.  Fruit flies suck.

Falling Stock Prices

As a good friend of mine watches the company he works for deteriorate with layoffs and a falling stock price, I decided to lend some encouraging words in the form of telling him a childhood story of mine.

Here goes the email response to him:

“It is always fun to be in that position.

Now for a little story:

The way we dedicate and give a part of ourselves to the company we work for reminds me of the time I thought it was cool to tie up a GI Joe to the end of a long piece of string and throw it out the back window of the station wagon while my mom was driving to watch it bounce around. Boing Boing Boing. Then, it only made sense to commit just a little more by wrapping the string around my finger a couple of times, Boing Boing Boing Boing, Then one day, it went Boing Boing, then on one bounce it got caught in a fence, and as the string zipped from the spool, and concurrently around my finger at 35 mph, you can imagine the friction did a number on my finger, I am lucky I didn't lose it.

So, it is always cool to watch a GI Joe bounce around, but don't tie the damn thing to your finger, or the relationship will end badly. ;-)

Oh, and I am not sure if you are the GI Joe or the little boy with the string tied around his finger, but either way your screwed.”

C4

Ok, so while watching Rush Hour (I know I should be slapped) the blonde sitting next to me hears Chris Tucker get all excited about a trunk full of C4 some criminal was trying to sell him.

Blondie gets an odd look on her face and asks me.

Blondie: "C4, is that illegal?"
Me: "Yeah, of course."
Blondie: "Isn't that what makes cars go fast?"

There really wasn't much more to the conversation other than non-stop laughter, and some slightly hurt feelings. Sorry Blondie, but damn that is funny.

Gess

Techno continues....

So, watching this movie in the background while doing some work stuff, and it shows 00 [techno continues]

[Plates Breaking]

[Electricity Crackles]

The 00 represents the little "note" symbols that I am clueless on how to code in this stupid blogger world.

Awesome I say... and learn your opponent.

Gess over and out

Oh Jonathan, you are SOOOO funny.

So here goes, the first installment. Excerpts from emails I receive from the famous Jonathan. Not this Jonathan, but probably pretty close.

"I have no ambition for the upcoming NFL season except getting used to watching the Raiders and the 49ers each week. I have taken to walking in the evenings and yelling "Vick!" at the neighborhood dogs. Some people have no sense of humor."

It doesn't get much funnier than that folks, or maybe I just have a wierd sense of humor too.

And, if you are completely clueless as to what he is referring to, start getting your news from somewhere other than the "drudgereport" or the "ironictimes". Info about aforementioned Vick scandal here.

“Gessner and the Giant Exercise Ball” (kinda like “James and the Giant Peach”)

Other than my dumb dog spazzing out all night doing the “whimper whimper, whine, blubber, jerk around like she is being devoured by a pterodactyl” motions, and that adding to the crappy night sleep I was getting anyway, the one dream I remember is still freakin me out.

So, you know those big ass rubber blow up balls (not dolls you sick bastard) that people use to stretch/exercise with, or if you work in a dungeon like I do, that people sit on to replace their office chairs? Anyway, well somehow the ball that we have sitting downstairs grows a few thousand percent, either from consuming too much of the muscle juice that Barry Bonds never used, or by some radioactive waste (remember “eight legged freaks”) that some enemy of the environment is illegally dumping (just ask Al Gore). This ball starts to roll towards me, and catches up to me after my Carl Lewis style effort to out run it. It starts to pinch my legs as it begins to rolls over me, and it becomes harder and harder to breathe as the ball slowly suffocates me.

At this point, I am startled awake, thank god (don’t forget what happens if you die in your sleep, just ask Neo) and I quickly shove off the 14 pounds of clumped up comforter/blanket/sheet that are suffocating me, and realizing my dog is laying on my legs, and her sharp ass nails are digging into my foot.

So, anyway, everytime I hear the sound of wind or a whisp of air, I get a little nervous, and look over my shoulder hoping that damn ball isn’t coming after me, cause if you didn’t know, that is what a big freakin rubber ball sounds like when it is going to lunge at you (kinda like the fan in my bedroom when it is oscillation mode).

Man, it is tough being on the run.